High Highs and Low Lows

Q: What has been going on in our world? 

A: A whole freaking lot

Since I am not teaching, it was really easy to take a month-long vacation. We started by going to Germany to spend some time with our first foreign exchange student, Laura. It was great to see her again. She gave us a tour of Frankfurt and we loved it!

We then headed over to Rome and spent a few days there. So. Cool. When people ask what my favorite part of the trip was, it was probably getting to go underneath the arena floor of the Colosseum. I also got to spend my birthday in this beautiful city. Talk about amazing. 

After a few days in Rome, my friend Haley and her husband (whose name is also Kyle) met us and we went on a cruise. It was amazing. 

The cruise ended in Athens and we spent a few days there exploring the city. On one of our last days there, I got a phone call from a friend of ours. I wasn't connected to wifi, so I didn't answer. Then, she called Kyle, so we knew something was up. We got to wifi and texted her, but she said we needed to call her ASAP. This friend usually calls us with crazy (in a good way) things, so we were expecting something, but had no idea what was about to happen. She said she knew someone who had a family member who was looking into placing her unborn twins for adoption. 

The next few weeks were a whirlwind. I actually went to England with Haley for a week after Athens.

We met the birth mom over Skype. She still hadn't decided 100% on adoption, but we felt the meeting went well. Once I got back from England, we drove out of state to meet her and some of her family members. I was only back in the country for 5 days, when we left to go on another cruise week-long with Kyle's grandma. 

The day we got back from the second cruise we had plans to hang out with some friends. We were in the car on the way to their house and they called and cancelled on us. Then, another friend asked if he could come over and talk to us. He said he was coming without his wife, and wanted to talk to both of us. I immediately got super nervous and tried to figure out what the heck was going on. 

A couple of hours later we got a knock at our door. It was the birth mom and our friend who introduced us to her. They came inside and she told us she made up her mind and asked us to adopt the twins. We were speechless, but managed to squeak out a "yes". (So, our friends were in on it, and are liars.)

We were so excited, but used the phrase "cautiously optimistic" to describe our feelings. Adoption laws require a 48 hour waiting period after a baby is born before any paperwork can be signed. So even though she said she did want to place the twins with us, nothing was legally official until after they are born.

That next week she stayed in town and we got to hang out with her. We actually had to take her to the hospital because she was going into labor. She only spent a few days in the hospital, and we were with her every day. We stayed in contact and a couple of weeks later I got to go to one of her doctor appointments. We made plans for me to drive back the next week for her next appointment. 

Two days after I went to the first appointment we received a heart-breaking text message. She had changed her mind and decided to not place the twins. 

So hard. 

We were actually on the way to a kid's birthday party, and then a baby shower afterward. So, we did what we usually do- put on a brave face and act like we were fine. I didn't let myself cry until the next day. I was a putting a full container of coffee creamer back into the fridge and I dropped it. It spilled everywhere. Everywhere. So, instead of cleaning it up, I laid on the floor and cried for a bit.

I cried a few more times after that, but I think I am getting better at this whole heart break thing. I don't know if that is good or bad. 

We were not and still are not angry with the birth mom. Placing your children for adoption must be the hardest decision in the world. We tried our best to guard our hearts in case this happened, but it still hurt so badly. We had only told a few people about the situation, but we still had to share what happened with those people. One reason that we didn't tell everyone was because if it didn't work out, we would have to un-tell them. Unfortunately, things like this situation have happened to us before. Fortunately, these times are when we feel the overwhelming support that we have. When we un-told everyone what happened, we were reminded how loved we are. Thank you guys for that.

The twins were born and are healthy and at home. Please join Kyle and me praying for these babies, as well as their mom. 

Because of this situation, we put all the foster stuff on hold. We have started it back up, but now it is looking like it won't be until January that we get re-licensed. That is a disappointment, but we continue to trust God. Please also pray for the re-licensing process and our future foster child(ren).

Sometimes I wonder if we will ever be parents, but Kyle and I rest in that God wouldn't give us these desires without bringing it to fruition. 

November is national adoption month, so I urge you to see what you can do to help. Every one can do something. Maybe you aren't in the place to foster, but you can donate your child's used clothes to foster parents or CPS instead of selling them. You can become certified to babysit for foster families so they can have a date night. You can pray.

Once again, thanks for going on this journey with us. I'll leave you with a picture of us from Naples. This is the day we ate an ice cream cone made of a doughnut, with cookies and cream ice cream- aka day that all of Kyle's wildest dreams came true.