The Next Chapter

As much as I would like to say that Kyle and I thought through every aspect of fostering before we started...yeah, right. I know that I personally didn't think past our first placement. I was hoping it would be our only placement and we would be able to adopt. Obviously, this has not been the case and we are now in the position where we need to choose what is next for us. 

Let me start by saying that Kyle and I both love our jobs. This summer will make ten years that he has been the student pastor at Heritage Park, and I am finishing my sixth year teaching. When we got Mark he was two and able to go to our church's pre-school program four days a week. Kyle has Fridays off, so he was able to stay home with him. Our church was so flexible last year and allowed him to work from home so Mark could nap after school. We definitely didn't plan it that way (go re-read the first sentence of this post), but God knew what He was doing. Looking back, I have no clue what would have happened if we would have gotten a child younger than two. They wouldn't have been able to go to the pre-school four days a week because of their age, and neither of us would have been able to stay home full-time, as we were both working. 

Fast-forward a year and a half later, and here we are thinking about our next step(s). Since I already wrote it, I'll just post it here so I can get some more use out of it. Here is what I wrote to my principal last month:

Mrs. Staley,

As a Finance major, I never intended to become a teacher. My family was full of teachers and my seventeen year-old self thought I would never want that. I came into teaching six years ago after figuring out that I did not want to be in the finance world either. I was scared, nervous, and worried it wasn’t for me. However, I fell in love with it. I love the students; the look in their eyes when they understand something, their wit, and the joy they bring me daily. I love my co-workers; their support, new ideas, and camaraderie.

A year and a half ago my husband and I became licensed foster parents and had our first placement on New Year’s Day 2015. He was the light of our world. We wanted to adopt him and let him become part of our family forever. Through a series of events, he was taken from us after a year of having him. This was an incredibly hard time for us.

We were so hurt when our foster son was taken away, but more so, we were blessed by the experience. We feel that adoption through foster care is the way God wants us to start our family. We wish to continue to foster and have decided it would be best if I was to stay home with our future foster children. After much prayer, thought, and seeking council with friends and family, my husband and I have made the decision that I am resigning at the end of my 2015-2016 contract, effective June 3, 2016.

This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I have enjoyed my time as a teacher at Clear Brook in a way that I cannot describe. I have learned so much about myself and have become a better person. Thank you for your guidance and for helping me be the best teacher I can be. I don’t believe this is a decision that will last forever, but it is the right one for now. When I eventually come back to the classroom, I hope it is under someone with your leadership abilities. Thank you for all you and Clear Brook have done for me.

                                                                        Kacee Jackson 

As I said to my principal, this is a season of life we are in. I don't think this season will last forever, and I do think I will end up back in the classroom. Right now I feel our call to foster is stronger than my call to teach. This decision was so incredibly hard to make, but I am completely at peace with it. 

We don't have a date that we are going to get our next placement for a couple of reasons. The first one is that everything with Mark isn't over yet. We are still fighting for him, and have a court date next week. The final decision was supposed to be made in January, then it was moved to April, and now it is the end of June. We could use a ridiculous amount of prayer for next Monday. The judge said we would get to see Mark, but this has not been the case. We are incredibly hurt by things that have been said, lies that have been told, and times our voice hasn't been heard. We are going to court Monday to ask the judge for some sort of visitation. Kyle and I miss Mark so incredibly much. I pass the time looking at pictures and watching videos of him, and still cry when I'm by myself (or in the bathroom if other people are around). 

Another reason is because the summer is the busiest time for youth ministry. Between camps, mission trips, and vacations, we think it would be best to wait until after the summer. 

Our lives have been forever changed because of our journey with foster care. Yesterday a fellow foster family got to witness one of their foster children be baptized- a statement I can't even type without tearing up. I pray that everyone can have something to do with some sort of orphan care, as I firmly believe you cannot be pro-life and not also be pro-orphan care. 

I want to thank all of you for going through this journey with us. I was recently with a friend when an alarm on her phone went off. She said "oh look, this is the alarm I set to remind me to pray for you and Kyle everyday." What? People do that? Apparently y'all do. Thank you for your prayer; it gives us life. 

I want to leave you with this video- it is one of the ones that gets me through the day.