How Our Adoption Died

So you need to know that I have epilepsy.

Not the kind where I have a seizure when I see a strobe light, though. I had 2 my senior year of high school and one my sophomore year of college. After a ton of tests I was diagnosed with having a scar on the right side of my brain. No telling how it got there- but I suspect Voldemort… Anyway, my condition is completely controlled by medicine now. I take two pills a day and don't even give it a second thought. Honestly, sometimes I forget that I ever even had a seizure.


So we are in the middle of our home study and we were told by our social worker that we should run my condition by our agency just to make sure everything was fine. It didn't even cross our mind since it's not a big deal to us.


The day before our four year wedding anniversary we got a phone call from our agency. Kyle took the call at work and told me it was a lot of information so we would just talk about it at home. Once we got home he told me to sit down- I am sure you can see where this is going. Our agency said they got word from their contact in Moldova and they said we are not eligible to adopt from Moldova because of my condition.


My heart stopped and mind started racing. No. You're kidding. Right? Please say you're joking. No. No. This can't be right. Please please please say you're joking. No. This isn't true. This is not a funny joke. Smile- something. Please. No no no.


But he wasn't kidding. This was serious. 

 

Our adoption was over. 

 

Dead. 

 

Our agency told us there was nothing that could be done and we should just consider another country. They said there were no other options. We suggested a few things that other adoptive families had told us about and were shut down. Our heart was being broken over and over every day.



I laid and bed and cried for the next few days. Kyle held me and I cried. That was our life for at least a week.


I don't think I have ever prayed as much as I did that week. I prayed for a miracle. I prayed that something would be done so our adoption would not be over. Anything, but this could not be the end. The calling God placed on our heart to Moldova is real and this can't be over.


The next few weeks were full of grasping at straws. We were on our own and didn't know where to start, but we knew we had to fight. We are in a Facebook group with some people that are also adopting from Moldova and I reached out to a couple that I thought might be able to help. They were able to contact some people over there and it seems there should be no reason why we couldn't adopt. Basically if the U.S. says we are okay to adopt- which they will because we are- then Moldova has to accept that. Our agency has agreed to allow these people to work on our behalf, so we are seeing this as an extremely positive thing. We have kind of put everything on pause, but are going to slowly restart everything once our agency 100% okays these guys.


It has been so hard, and it still is. We aren't completely out of the woods yet, but we are at the best place we have been since this happened.  It has been two months worth of incredibly low lows and a couple flickers of light at the end of the tunnel, but things are finally looking up.


To our friends- please pray. Please pray for our adoption. Pray that we can continue to adopt from Moldova. Pray that the necessary pieces fall into place and that we can continue without any more problems. Pray for our contact in Moldova. Pray that they know how to reach the correct people to allow us to bring our little girl home one day.


To our little girl- we love you. We won't stop fighting for you and I hope there is some way you can know that. I pray for you everyday. I pray that God protects you until we win the fight and get to hold you forever. Know that we won't give up on you because you're worth it.


And to God- thank you for being the conqueror of death. Not only are you big enough to spin this world into motion, but you're big enough to care about my life in a way to constantly amazes me. In the hard times please help me keep my eyes above the waves. My soul will rest in your embrace for I am yours, and you are mine.






Comments

  1. UnknownMay 12, 2014 at 8:06 PM

    This is beautiful Kacee. We are praying for you guys and your sweet baby girl!

    Channing

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMay 12, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    I'm praying for you! Extremely hard.

    ReplyDelete

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