Is This Real Life?

Kyle and I have had an exciting and busy past couple of months. 

We were invited to a wedding in England, and decided to make a vacation out of it. We spent a few days in Paris before the wedding, and had a great time. I had been before in high school, but just for like a day and a half. Kyle had never been and I was happy to spend time with him in the city of love.

I even got to meet John Krasinski

We got back and immediately went from the airport to church camp. It was super busy and tiring, but so great. We didn't take the baby to Europe, and missed her so much. We were so excited to see her and had a great time at camp with her. 

It has been a while since there has been an update on our foster journey, so here we go.

We were scheduled to have the TPR (termination of parental rights) trial the week after camp. We have been counting down the days since it was scheduled back in March. The week before the trial I got a text from our CPS caseworker scheduling a visit the day before court. I assumed it was just her regular visit and she wanted to get it in before court so she could say she recently saw the baby. 

She sat down on our couch and said, "well Mrs. Jackson, I have some bad news". 

Ugh. Here we go. I told you in the last post everything was going too well to be real.

She said she found out a few days before that some necessary paperwork never happened, so she didn't think the TPR trial would happen. There was a glimmer of hope that it would happen that day, but it was a slim chance. It wasn't the worst news in the world. Nothing about the case itself was changing, it was just being prolonged. 

We went to court the next day and it was disappointing. The paperwork didn't happen, but even if it did, there is a 45-60 day waiting period (no one we talked to actually knew...). So, that sucks.

They rescheduled the TPR for the end of September, so we have to wait another two and a half months. It just makes me nervous because it means that something else could pop up, another ball could get dropped- you name it. I was hopeful that the adoption could be finalized in November during National Adoption Month, but now it seems to be looking more like it will happen around her first birthday. 

AND THEN...

Last week, while Kyle was getting ready to leave for a mission trip, we got a call from our agency. The baby's two toddler-aged siblings were possibly going to be moved from their placement and they asked if we would be interested in having them.

Holy crap. Talk about life-changing.

We prayed and I cried about it. I was heart-broken for these two babies who had been in their current placement for a long time and were possibly going to be uprooted again. I prayed that they would be able to stay and wouldn't have to be transitioned again.

This was something we were completely not expecting. We have assumed that in the future we would be possibly asked to take any newborn siblings, but never thought we would be asked to take these two. 

We said "yes" the next day and waited to hear what was going to happen. They said we would know "soon"...whatever that means. 

So, Kyle was gone and I was left at home to think of all the possibilities this would mean for our family. We would have to buy a new car immediately. We would have to cancel our cruise with our friends next week. We would have to rearrange the bedrooms upstairs and buy all new kids furniture. Would this mean we wouldn't take any future siblings since we would now have 3 kids? How would I explain to them that I was their new mommy when they thought the last lady was?

The next few days were an equal mixture of praying and crying on my part. Then, late at night 4 days after that first phone call, I got a text saying that they were going to be moved, but not to us. We don't know all the details surrounding the situation, and probably never will. 

Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to feel. I felt sad for the kids. I felt sad for our baby because they are her siblings. But I also felt relieved. I didn't have peace about the whole situation from the beginning, but I knew I couldn't say "no" to those kids. Then, I felt guilty for feeling relieved. So. Many. Emotions.

We are continuing to lean on God and His promises. I wish I could say it gets easier as time goes on, but honestly it doesn't. Every day is a struggle to trust God, but we choose to do it. We surround ourselves with people who speak truth into our life, and take it one day at a time.

We fall more and more in love with our baby every day. She is the sweetest. Thank you guys for following along and loving us, and her, well. Please continue to pray for her and add her siblings to your list. Pray they are adjusting to their new placement and won't have to be moved again.