Round Two
Well, well, well. Where do I even begin?
Since I last wrote, we have become re-certified as foster parents. On Kyle's birthday I received a call from our agency saying we were official. The guy from our agency said he wanted to explain a couple of things to make sure we were on the same page, and then he wanted to ask me a question. Um...okay?
The first thing he talked about was emergency placements. This is the way Mark came into our home. This is when a child comes into care initially or needs to move foster homes for whatever reason, and what most people think about when they think of foster care.
The other thing he wanted to talk to me about was their foster-to-adopt program and what are called legal-risk broadcasts. This is when the judge is going to terminate the parent's rights (TPR), so they order a legal-risk broadcast. The CPS worker will then send out the child's profile to all the agencies in the state. Each agency can submit up to two home studies to be considered. The CPS worker then narrows it down to 3 families. After that, there is a RAS meeting to choose who, out of the 3, will adopt.
He asked us if that was something we would be interested in. Um... Idk... let me think...
YES!
I remember him saying "do you want to talk to your husband and get back to me?"
Nah, I was 100% sure Kyle would be okay with me speaking for him.
He told us that he wouldn't advise us taking emergency placements if we were going to be doing foster-to-adopt and looking into the legal-risk broadcasts. He said he has been in RAS meetings where it went against the family that they had taken an emergency placement. He said it was up to us, but he did want us to know his experience. So, we decided not to take emergency placements and just hopefully be chosen for some RAS meetings.
We made a lifebook and sent it to our agency. They would take it to any RAS meetings we were chosen for so everyone could see what we were all about. Over the next two weeks we said "yes" to 5 kids, two of whom were siblings.
One day, as I was getting ready to go have lunch with Kyle, I missed a call from our agency. I called them back, but they didn't answer. Then, Kyle called me. They had called him to ask if we were interested in a 2 month old baby girl. They thought her situation would lead to adoption, but it was an emergency placement- you know, those things we said we weren't going to take. We talked it over and said "yes", but found out a few hours later that CPS had chosen another family. I was up at the church when we got that call. We were pretty bummed, so we went to lunch to drown our sorrows in salad. Sidetnote-if you've never been to Salata, you're missing out!
We got back to the church after lunch and our agency called us AGAIN! Goodness! This time she said there was a newborn baby who was still in the hospital who they needed a placement for. Once again, it was an emergency placement, but they thought it would be heading to adoption for various reasons. Once again, we said we would. She called back about 30 minutes later and said the baby was coming to our house!
I left the church and went straight to Walmart. I got a basket and wandered around the baby section aimlessly. I was texting my friends, and they all were telling me what to get and what not to get because they had it and would just give it to us. It felt like every time I put something in my cart, I took it back out because someone said I could have theirs. Luckily, my friend Alissa dropped everything and met me at Walmart. With her help I bought a few essentials to get us through the first few days. I figured I would realize what we needed once she got to us.
After Walmart we went to Babies R Us and I got ANOTHER phone call from our agency. She said that because the baby was in the NICU, she would have to pass a car seat test before she could go home. CPS took the wrong kind of car seat, and asked if we could take ours. So, in rush hour traffic, Kyle and I took a car seat across town. Kyle stayed in the car, and I found my way to the NICU of a hospital that felt more like a prison. Once there I had to explain like 20 times that I was the foster parent, not the CPS worker. I kept hoping I would get a sneak peak of the little nugget, but I think the lady was too confused about who I was to offer. We dropped the carseat off around 5:45 in the evening and headed home. We decided to detour and have a "Last Supper", since the baby wasn't going to be at our house for a few hours.
A little after midnight we FINALLY got the knock on our door that we had been waiting for. A lady dropped off the most precious little baby you have EVER seen. I tell Kyle all the time that they need to use her little face as a model for a doll.
Over the next month we navigated what it was like to have a newborn. We had done the whole foster parent thing before, but it is completely different with a two year-old. We got in a rhythm and found what worked for us.
Then, Kyle left for 11 days to go on a mission trip to England.
I was super nervous to do everything by myself. Honestly, there was a point at 2 in the morning where the baby and I were both crying, but we made it through. My mom came and stayed with me for a few nights, so I was able to get some sleep.
Over Spring Break I met the baby's caseworker and attorney ad litem. We learned a lot about the case and everything that surrounded the baby's situation. We found out there would be a court hearing the next week, so Kyle and I were super excited that we would both be able to attend. With Mark, I was working so I couldn't go to all of his court dates. Also, the hearing would be after Kyle came back in town.
We went to court and it could not have gone any better. Basically, they are going to do TPR this summer, and then it will move to adoption court. I asked the caseworker if she was going to do a legal-risk broadcast, but she said she wouldn't because she would be okay with us being the family to adopt.
Um...okay!
The ad litem told the judge he would also like for us to adopt her. The judge asked us if we were a foster-to-adopt home, and when I nodded (I don't think I am supposed to talk in court, and I didn't want to get in trouble), the judge smiled at me. Hey, I'll take whatever positivity I can get!
The rule/law is that a child has to be in their adoptive placement for at least 6 months before an adoption can be finalized, so now we wait.
I told a fellow foster mom that I was just waiting for the bad news to come. I feel like there is too much going our way for this to be real life. Let's hope I've just become cynical in my old age and there isn't anything that is going to pop up at us.
So if you need us, we will just be over here loving this little chicky nug nug with all our hearts.
Since I last wrote, we have become re-certified as foster parents. On Kyle's birthday I received a call from our agency saying we were official. The guy from our agency said he wanted to explain a couple of things to make sure we were on the same page, and then he wanted to ask me a question. Um...okay?
The first thing he talked about was emergency placements. This is the way Mark came into our home. This is when a child comes into care initially or needs to move foster homes for whatever reason, and what most people think about when they think of foster care.
The other thing he wanted to talk to me about was their foster-to-adopt program and what are called legal-risk broadcasts. This is when the judge is going to terminate the parent's rights (TPR), so they order a legal-risk broadcast. The CPS worker will then send out the child's profile to all the agencies in the state. Each agency can submit up to two home studies to be considered. The CPS worker then narrows it down to 3 families. After that, there is a RAS meeting to choose who, out of the 3, will adopt.
He asked us if that was something we would be interested in. Um... Idk... let me think...
YES!
I remember him saying "do you want to talk to your husband and get back to me?"
Nah, I was 100% sure Kyle would be okay with me speaking for him.
He told us that he wouldn't advise us taking emergency placements if we were going to be doing foster-to-adopt and looking into the legal-risk broadcasts. He said he has been in RAS meetings where it went against the family that they had taken an emergency placement. He said it was up to us, but he did want us to know his experience. So, we decided not to take emergency placements and just hopefully be chosen for some RAS meetings.
We made a lifebook and sent it to our agency. They would take it to any RAS meetings we were chosen for so everyone could see what we were all about. Over the next two weeks we said "yes" to 5 kids, two of whom were siblings.
One day, as I was getting ready to go have lunch with Kyle, I missed a call from our agency. I called them back, but they didn't answer. Then, Kyle called me. They had called him to ask if we were interested in a 2 month old baby girl. They thought her situation would lead to adoption, but it was an emergency placement- you know, those things we said we weren't going to take. We talked it over and said "yes", but found out a few hours later that CPS had chosen another family. I was up at the church when we got that call. We were pretty bummed, so we went to lunch to drown our sorrows in salad. Sidetnote-if you've never been to Salata, you're missing out!
We got back to the church after lunch and our agency called us AGAIN! Goodness! This time she said there was a newborn baby who was still in the hospital who they needed a placement for. Once again, it was an emergency placement, but they thought it would be heading to adoption for various reasons. Once again, we said we would. She called back about 30 minutes later and said the baby was coming to our house!
I left the church and went straight to Walmart. I got a basket and wandered around the baby section aimlessly. I was texting my friends, and they all were telling me what to get and what not to get because they had it and would just give it to us. It felt like every time I put something in my cart, I took it back out because someone said I could have theirs. Luckily, my friend Alissa dropped everything and met me at Walmart. With her help I bought a few essentials to get us through the first few days. I figured I would realize what we needed once she got to us.
After Walmart we went to Babies R Us and I got ANOTHER phone call from our agency. She said that because the baby was in the NICU, she would have to pass a car seat test before she could go home. CPS took the wrong kind of car seat, and asked if we could take ours. So, in rush hour traffic, Kyle and I took a car seat across town. Kyle stayed in the car, and I found my way to the NICU of a hospital that felt more like a prison. Once there I had to explain like 20 times that I was the foster parent, not the CPS worker. I kept hoping I would get a sneak peak of the little nugget, but I think the lady was too confused about who I was to offer. We dropped the carseat off around 5:45 in the evening and headed home. We decided to detour and have a "Last Supper", since the baby wasn't going to be at our house for a few hours.
A little after midnight we FINALLY got the knock on our door that we had been waiting for. A lady dropped off the most precious little baby you have EVER seen. I tell Kyle all the time that they need to use her little face as a model for a doll.
Over the next month we navigated what it was like to have a newborn. We had done the whole foster parent thing before, but it is completely different with a two year-old. We got in a rhythm and found what worked for us.
Then, Kyle left for 11 days to go on a mission trip to England.
I was super nervous to do everything by myself. Honestly, there was a point at 2 in the morning where the baby and I were both crying, but we made it through. My mom came and stayed with me for a few nights, so I was able to get some sleep.
Over Spring Break I met the baby's caseworker and attorney ad litem. We learned a lot about the case and everything that surrounded the baby's situation. We found out there would be a court hearing the next week, so Kyle and I were super excited that we would both be able to attend. With Mark, I was working so I couldn't go to all of his court dates. Also, the hearing would be after Kyle came back in town.
We went to court and it could not have gone any better. Basically, they are going to do TPR this summer, and then it will move to adoption court. I asked the caseworker if she was going to do a legal-risk broadcast, but she said she wouldn't because she would be okay with us being the family to adopt.
Um...okay!
The ad litem told the judge he would also like for us to adopt her. The judge asked us if we were a foster-to-adopt home, and when I nodded (I don't think I am supposed to talk in court, and I didn't want to get in trouble), the judge smiled at me. Hey, I'll take whatever positivity I can get!
The rule/law is that a child has to be in their adoptive placement for at least 6 months before an adoption can be finalized, so now we wait.
I told a fellow foster mom that I was just waiting for the bad news to come. I feel like there is too much going our way for this to be real life. Let's hope I've just become cynical in my old age and there isn't anything that is going to pop up at us.
So if you need us, we will just be over here loving this little chicky nug nug with all our hearts.
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